Tiffany is a β Whore

So Tiffany, Konica, and I had dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Tiffany announced that she wanted α whore for dessert (note: depending on your fonts, this should show up as alpha whore). Konica and I were taken aback, but we decided it was safest to play along. Soon it became clear from observation that Tiffany herself is a β whore.

Some elaboration is required, though of course the whore part is self-explanatory. β whores are commonly found at elite universities. They are somewhat reclusive, but are capable of sending more than 40 e-mails a day. They are ridiculous, but act as though you are the ridiculous one if you point out their idiosyncracies. If you see one, don't make any sudden movements, and slowly back away. If she attacks, cover your head with your arms and kick at her shoes. Once her shoes are off she freaks out for fear of deadly disease, and you can make your way to safety.

β whores are quick to criticize others for not updating their blogs frequently enough, but they rarely have blogs of their own. Their memories are excellent, so much so that they have been accused of being robots. Really whorish robots.

β whores are not always easy to identify, but in Tiffany's case there is overwhelming evidence. As she said as we left dinner, "I'll hold open the back door."

UPDATE: clarified Greek alphabet