Things I Learned on the East Coast

I took a trip to Boston and DC last weekend. I actually learned quite a bit, so I'll share the points that seem most relevant.

• If you are smart, it's easy to get college girls to show you they titties (source: an otherwise reliable homeless man in Cambridge).


• Bars are much more enjoyable when smoking isn't allowed.


• You don't always have to fuck her hard; in fact, sometimes it's not right to do (source: Tenacious D).


• Munchkins aren't nearly as good as traditional glazed doughnut holes.


• Winning a state lottery game (keno) isn't nearly as fun once you realize that you're taking money out of the local public schools.


• There's nothing in the woodshed.