Bad Dreams

So I had a dream last night about President Bush. In the dream, he wanted to perform an appendectomy on me. I said no thank you, I don't need one.

Then a bunch of conservatives asked me if I thought it would be unjustified to get an appendectomy. I said no, of course not. They said the discussion was over then.

Dick Cheney went on TV and called me "soft on appendicitis."

I asked why I needed an appendectomy. Colin Powell gave a speech at the UN with pictures that he said conclusively proved I needed an appendectomy.

I decided it might not be such a bad idea. I asked Bush for his credentials.

He said my desire to have an MD perform the surgery was more liberal elitism. He said I should trust him, and if I didn't trust him, I should at least trust Tony Blair.

I said that Tony Blair thinks we should do something about global warming. Bush said I can't trust Tony Blair.

Michael Moore made a movie pointing out that anyone who gets an appendectomy is a stooge of the Saudi royal family.

The surgery was quick, but the recovery took a long time. An infection developed. The hospital ran out of anesthesia and antibiotics.

John Kerry said he had been in a hospital once.

I said I felt bad for the hospital staff, working in such awful conditions. The Republicans asked me why I hate hospital workers so much.

A copy of my medical records showed up on the internet. I said this was a violation of my privacy. Bush agreed and promoted everyone who was responsible.

When I woke up, I was glad it was just a dream.