Functionally Stupid

So I was talking to Tarun the other day, and I pointed out that I'm functionally stupid. He argued for a bit, and in fact won the argument. This only goes to show how stupid I am, and thus bad at arguing.

Clearly I have (or had) the potential to be smart. I've squandered it, though, and effectively I'm pretty damn stupid. For instance, our country has occupied Afghanistan for years, and I don't know the capital. If I had to guess, I'd say Kabul, but I wouldn't put any money on it. If you ask me the capital of Kazakhstan, I'll say Almaty, even though I know it's not the capital. That's how stupid I am.

I'm determined not to continue this charade. I'm going to put some effort into becoming smart. My first move is to drink a lot of beer. Beer makes you smarter, if you're of legal drinking age. After that I'll wear shirts with collars and watch lots of David Mamet movies. I'm also going to add the phrase per se to a lot of the things I say.

If none of that works, I'll resign myself to being stupid and join the Republican party.

Which reminds me, here's a stupid joke. Rawlsians should have voted for Bush in the election. Why? Because he is the ideal president, as he exists behind a veil of ignorance.

Shut up, James.