It's a Girl! Or It Dies

So I've decided that I want to have daughters, not sons. The reason is simple: it's the only way to make sure I get girl scout cookies every year. Boy scouts sell shitty stuff like popcorn, and anyway I wouldn't let my son participate in a homophobic organization like that.

The problem is, you can't really control the sex of your child. The solution is selective abortion. I'll simply force my wife to have an abortion every time she gets pregnant with a male, until finally I get some daughters. This is roughly the opposite of what they do in China, and it seems to be working okay for them.

My roommate pointed out that there might be ethical issues. I don't really see the problem, though. I'm not stealing the girl scout cookies. I'm paying for them fair and square. As for the abortions, it won't come as a surprise to my wife. I'll let her know before we marry exactly what I expect of her. I bet lots of women would jump at the chance to have only daughters, and lots of girl scout cookies.