Eat It INS

So I guess technically the INS doesn't run immigration anymore, the Department of Homeland Security does. They administer a test to screen immigrants for knowledge about the US. I got all this from an article in the Wall Street Journal, called "Would-Be Citizens Will Face New Test, If It's Every Written." I would link, but the WSJ is subscription only.

Anyway, it's time to get down to brass tacks, people. Here are a few of the questions they ask:

#1: What are the colors of our flag?
#13: Who is the President?
#72: Name the amendments that guarantee or address voting rights.

Let's be clear. I'm a law student, and I don't know the answer to #72. Anyway, the test has a 97% pass rate (you have to answer 6/10, plus a minimal literacy section). My question is, why administer the test at all? Do we really want to screw over the 3% that badly? It seems like a dick move, especially since they're probably just the ones who got asked #72.

Alfonso Aguilar, head of the Department of Homeland Security's Office of Citizenship, is supposed to be coming up with a new test, and he doesn't want it to be "something an al Qaeda agent could breeze through." This is easily the stupidest thing I've ever read. Immigration tests aren't meant to screen out terrorists. It's not even remotely possible that the immigration test could keep out a determined terrorist. Imagine it. "I'm willing to strap explosives to myself and set them off, but I can't be bothered to learn the colors of the American flag."

Of course the real point is to make sure that new immigrants understand a few basics about the United States. I think that whatever we spend on the test would be better spent showing them episodes of Seinfeld and the Daily Show. That will teach them about American culture and the 1st Amendment, which is really all most of us know anyway.