Free Advice for Big Ten Alums

So Chicago is full of alums from Big Ten schools. They seem to have considerable school spirit, although I did see a Notre Dame alum hitting on some attractive Michigan alums, so I guess it only goes so deep. Anyway, here's an idea that I hope to see put into action.

Say you're an alum from a Big Ten school, Michigan for example. You and your fellow alumni buy a bunch of sweaters, hats, coats, etc. bearing the logo of a rival school (Ohio State). Then you distribute the clothing to all the homeless people you can find.

When the cold weather comes, the homeless people will break out the gear, and suddenly it will appear that just about every homeless person in Chicago attended Ohio State. The implication is obvious: Ohio State grads don't exactly have the best job prospects. Many of them do drugs and don't have great personal hygeine. Potential applicants will have second thoughts, and employers will wonder if they should hire Ohio State grads, given how badly many of them turn out.

As a result, a lot of Ohio State alumni really will be unable to get a job, and the ranks of the homeless will swell with genuine Buckeyes. It's kind of sad, but that's what you get when you fuck with the Wolverines.

[UPDATE: Steve points out that Notre Dame isn't a Big Ten school. I knew that, sort of, but anyway the same analysis applies to any midwestern school with a big football program.]