A Quick Note

In my last post, I wrote, "I get a suboptimal amount of sex." To be clear, this doesn't mean that I don't get a lot of sex, just that I should get even more. In point of fact, I get lots of sex. It's ridiculous how much sex I get.

Now, it's also true that I don't kiss and tell. I do tell, though, I just don't kiss. Kissing is for homo-sexuals. Straight men don't kiss. If you're a straight man, and you kiss women, I've got news for you: you're not straight. Kissing is basically the most girly thing there is. If you kiss, you might as well start prancing around, giggling, and batting your eyes. Some might argue that kissing isn't always gay, but I've got news for you: that dog won't hunt.

In fact, the saying "gentlemen don't kiss and tell" stems from the fact that, at one point in time, homosexuality was frowned upon in polite society. A man who kissed was gay, a gay man couldn't be a gentleman, ergo gentlemen don't kiss and tell. The "tell" part of the saying was meaningless; they added it for rhythm.

So while I don't kiss, I most certainly tell. I can't share any of my recent sexual escapades for legal reasons, but once the settlement goes through I'll divulge all the awesome details.