The Skittish Empire
It's very important that we not import Britishisms into our language. I've seen a lot of this crap lately and it has to stop.
This isn't about xenophobia. I've got no problem with phrases like "muy bueno." Mexico is our neighbor, and we've benefited greatly from cultural exchange. Moreover, its language is complementary to ours. It adds color. "¡Hijo de la gran puta!" is just better than its English equivalent. More evocative. Basically Mexico can be regarded as a friend and ally.
The British are different. When they tried to make us talk like them, in spite of our ardent wish for peace, we were forced to take up arms. British people don't have flashlights, they have torches. They don't have yards, they have gardens. Affluent British families send their children to "public school," which means private school. Their cars have boots. Sorry, their motorcars. Filled with petrol. They stand for election. We run.
Who was the most annoying kid at college? It was the guy who said "shite" instead of "shit," right? Don't bother trying to deny it. (This brings up an important point, which is that Britishisms are vastly more annoying when used as affectations, which they always are.)
But affectation or no, British English is devoid of merit. Can you imagine taking yourself seriously as a "civilisation" while shouting "oy"? Jesus. That alone would prevent me from raising my children there. Picture it—your kid comes home from school and says, "Oy! Aren't there any biscuits left?" She means cookies. And no, there aren't any fucking cookies left, not for disappointing witless little shits who say "oy" when they mean, like, Sopranos-style "eyyyyyy." Which, again, the Italians are all right. The British are not.
This isn't about xenophobia. I've got no problem with phrases like "muy bueno." Mexico is our neighbor, and we've benefited greatly from cultural exchange. Moreover, its language is complementary to ours. It adds color. "¡Hijo de la gran puta!" is just better than its English equivalent. More evocative. Basically Mexico can be regarded as a friend and ally.
The British are different. When they tried to make us talk like them, in spite of our ardent wish for peace, we were forced to take up arms. British people don't have flashlights, they have torches. They don't have yards, they have gardens. Affluent British families send their children to "public school," which means private school. Their cars have boots. Sorry, their motorcars. Filled with petrol. They stand for election. We run.
Who was the most annoying kid at college? It was the guy who said "shite" instead of "shit," right? Don't bother trying to deny it. (This brings up an important point, which is that Britishisms are vastly more annoying when used as affectations, which they always are.)
But affectation or no, British English is devoid of merit. Can you imagine taking yourself seriously as a "civilisation" while shouting "oy"? Jesus. That alone would prevent me from raising my children there. Picture it—your kid comes home from school and says, "Oy! Aren't there any biscuits left?" She means cookies. And no, there aren't any fucking cookies left, not for disappointing witless little shits who say "oy" when they mean, like, Sopranos-style "eyyyyyy." Which, again, the Italians are all right. The British are not.
posted by James | 6:10 PM
2 Comments:
at least spell it right: https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=oi%2C+oy&case_insensitive=on&year_start=1800&year_end=2000&corpus=15&smoothing=3&share=&direct_url=t4%3B%2Coi%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Boi%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BOi%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BOI%3B%2Cc0%3B.t4%3B%2Coy%3B%2Cc0%3B%2Cs0%3B%3Boy%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BOy%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BOY%3B%2Cc0%3B%3BoY%3B%2Cc0
"Oy" as in "Oy gevalt": not really an Anglicism.
As an American who is of British descent and who is a mere 17 million deaths from being King of the Britons (and in such a situation I would be divinely entitled to use Briticisms), I find this post offensive.
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